February 10, 2013
Epiphany Last
Exodus 34:29-35
Luke 9:28-36
(prayer)
I spent yesterday morning at the Commonwealth Stadium Rec Centre watching over 100 grade 11 and 12 students run all over the indoor artificial turf at the Edmonton Wildcats football mini-camp. They are out there again right now for day two of the camp.
It is quite exciting seeing my oldest son shagging balls out there and not looking out of place, at this level.
Sean has been playing for almost a decade (since he was eight years old) and up until last October he was injury-free. An opponent's helmet to the side of the knee led to him not being able to finish four of the final five games of the season he tried to play in to conclude his high school team's championship season. I know that he has some ligament damage in there and that the jury is still out whether he will need surgery (currently awaiting an orthopedic appointment). He's been doing physiotherapy, working with personal trainers to keep the knee strong and he wears a knee brace when he practices. Even though he looks like he is pretty much fully recovered, I cringe with ever route he runs, with every cut he makes, every time he gets bumped or tackled.
But he's 17 and is 'most alive' on the turf looking for the ball. It makes no logical, long term sense... but I can't tell him to stop at this point. A surgeon might, but I just can't.
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It is a helpless feeling to have no control.
It is dang frightening!
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As Luke describes it, sometime after his baptism and before the major part of his work, Jesus invited three individuals (part of his inner circle of disciples) to go to the top of a mountain to pray. While he was praying, Jesus' appearance changed and his clothes became dazzling white. The disciples saw and heard two other men talking with Jesus about what was going to happen to him in Jerusalem. They concluded that they were Moses and Elijah who "appeared in glory": a phrase that referred to God's Presence or a glow or radiance surrounding a person's body.
James, Peter and John (as well as Luke's readers) would have made the obvious connection to the story of Moses radiating with God's Glory when he came down Mount Horeb [Sinai] with the Ten Commandments. And they all knew the legend that Elijah was expected to appear on earth before God's power over earth was restored.
[italics from Seasons of the Spirit-E2013]
Additionally, Moses can be seen as representing the Torah, the Law, and Elijah, the prophets. The presence of these two with Jesus tied him to the full scriptural and cultural traditions of his faith: amazingly good company. No wonder why Peter didn't want it to end.
But Peter wasn't in control.
It ended with 'these words' that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere: "my son, my chosen; listen to him." The cloud lifted. Elijah and Moses were gone. And Jesus looked like... Jesus.
Luke's version is slightly different than the way Mark and Matthew tells this story: M&M say that Jesus ordered them to be quite about what they'd seen: Luke just says 'they kept silent and told no one': on Luke alone, it sounds like it was the disciples' decision. One thing all of these thee gospel versions agree on is that the disciples' reaction to The Voice, is described as 'terrified'. They hit the ground and refused to look.
I am sure that the disciples were thrilled to not have to talk about it. Bottling up a terrifying experience is not uncommon.
"Fear" is probably the ultimate 'I-have-no-control-over-the-situation' reaction.
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The obviousness of God's Presense (witnessed by Moses' radiant appearance) caused anguish and fear in the Israelites during the Exodus (even Moses' own brother Aaron was afraid to look at him). So, Moses covered his face when he was among the people. It seems like this was for the people's benefit not Moses'.
I'm sure the Israelites were thrilled when Moses decided to wear the veil. Shutting our eyes to a frightening experience is not uncommon.
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In the face of God's Presence, people (in the scripture stories today) reacted in fear. And then reacted to the fear, by refusing to talk about it, or covering it up so they didn't have to notice it.
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If we believe that we should be able to be in control in any situation, it is not surprising that 'fear' is the response when a lack of control becomes our reality.
But... should we expect to have total control over our spirituality?
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I suppose that if we don't expect God to be an active presence at least until we call upon God, then we might fear the Divine when it is exposed.
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But, our scriptures and life experiences are filled with examples of the grace and challenge of God showing itself unexpectedly.
And so, we have the opportunity to choose a response other than 'fear that we can't seem to control the mind of God': we can be humble... and grateful that:
we are not alone,
we live in God's world,
we believe in God
who has created and is creating,
who has come in Jesus,
the word made flesh,
to reconcile and make new,
who works in us and others
by the spirit,
we trust in God.
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Our universe (what we experience of God's creation) is too vast, too complex for any of us (or even our best collective consciousness) to understand: there is mystery in our midst - perhaps one of the ways we might describe God is to say that: "God is.. that for whom there is no mystery".
What we read about this morning in Exodus and Luke were examples of when some of that mystery was glimpsed for a while - and admittedly in a bigger way than the participants were really prepared for.
The far more common experience to be given opportunities for a much more subtle glimpse.
The ancient Celts spoke about being in thin places: experiences when the boundary between certainty and mystery is very nearly breached; when the ordinary world and the mystical world come very close to overlapping.
All throughout the world, humans have identified physical places where we have had such experiences: for eons people have made pilgrimages to such holy sites hoping to experiences a 'thinness experience'. It is kind of interesting that (like both our scripture passages today) that the wonders of mountain settings seem to be conducive to such experiences. I know "I" have felt close to God in high places. Maybe it is because I can pause and look over a vast swath of geography that shows such a wonderful geological history - that required almost an eternal patience to be able to find the form I am blessed to observe - that I am wonder filled.
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When we find ourselves face to face with divine mystery (holy presence), we can hide behind a veil of fear or we can be humbly grateful.
We don't have to fully understand God to know that mystery exists. We don't have to fully see God to know that God in our midst. We don't have to make sense of it all to have a sense that 'we are not alone'.
May we all be graced with glimpses of holy mystery from time to time.
Let us pray:
May we become aware, O God, that we are deeply known, even if we don't know it all. Amen.
#371VU "Open My Eyes"
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