September 11, 2011
Pentecost 13
Romans 14:1-12
Matthew 18:21-35
(prayer)
Ten years ago, this date was a Tuesday. By this time of the morning, four passenger jets had been high-jacked, crashed into buildings or the ground, the two tallest buildings in New York City had crumbled, thousands of people were dead and people all over the world had their lives changed forever.
//
[slide] Today, at the World Trade Centre site in lower Manhattan, two memorial reflecting pools (fountains) in the footprints of the fallen towers are being officially dedicated during the 10th anniversary ceremony (probably concluding right about now). Today, the memorial site is open to families of 9/11 victims. Tomorrow, it will open to the public.
//
One of the expectations of ministers in the United Church of Canada is that we engage in patterns of Life Long Learning. The church expects that its clergy will continue to expand their knowledge, to nurture their spirituality and develop new skills well beyond the day we graduate from Theological College. I finished my Master of Divinity degree in May 1990. I was ordained later that month. In the past 21 years, I have attended many courses, seminars and spiritual retreats. I have read dozens of books on topics like theology, history and the future of the church. In 2009, I took a three month sabbatical focusing on Music, Spirituality and the Modern Church.
Over the past couple of years, I have continued to expand my interest in these areas. Twice I have ventured east to attend events about this. One was in North Carolina (in 2010) and the other was in New York (this past May). On both trips, I had a couple of days in New York City. Both times I visited the ground zero site. I have watched the new 1WTC grow skyward (formally called The Freedom Tower). It was about 20 floors high when I first saw it. I see by the news that it is now the tallest building in lower Manhattan at 961 feet (78 floors so far) – eventually, including an antenna tower at the top, it will be 1776 feet tall and be the tallest building in the US.
I have been scrolling some photos and animations (I found on the internet) of the WTC site as it looks today.
This past May, I got a look at the Memorial Site, myself, for the first time. Here is the photo I took with my phone of the south memorial pool three and a half months ago three and a half months ago [slide].
//
You may have read in our church newsletter or in my blog through the church’s website, what I remember about September 11th, 2001. I know each person who remembers that day has their own memories of how they were affected. I am still haunted by the events of that day – especially how my children (even Sean who was six at the time) have no lasting pre-9-11 memories.
They live and move and have their being in a world of intense, big-brother-esque security; anti-muslim sentiments (think of the post 9-11 public debates over head scarves on the soccer pitch and the location of mosques); and of course, the foggy and seemingly never-ending battles in the War on Terror – a war I think has become self-perpetuating: the more we fight it, the people are willing join in.
It may be because 9-11 had such an effect on me that I found myself deeply affected by the design of the Memorial as I was looking at the construction last May.
I really like the subterranean design of the fountain. Water flowing down is an obvious reminder for me of the falling towers – with the water flowing out of sight in the dark centre.
And yet I can not separate that from the rich biblical imagery of water – a symbol of life and movement and welcome – of compassion, commitment and the grace of God.
All of that was going through my mind as I looked the construction at ground zero. At the time, I knew that the second Sunday in September would be the 11th this year and I was conscious that this was the 10th anniversary of the attacks. Even though the pattern at St. David’s is to offer Baptism on most second Sundays, I wasn’t sure it would make sense for this September 11th. I thought that it might feel wrong somehow.
But I made the decision (that day back in NYC as I imagined these memorial pools flowing with water) that water had to flow here today as well! I forgave myself of the negative feelings I was having that continue to be part of this post-9-11 world.
//
//
Last week here in church, we read the first part of Matthew chapter 18 – how should a person respond to someone who has “sinned” against them. Matthew quotes for us Jesus conflict management model:
1) try to work it out one on one;
2) bring in a couple other people to help the two of you work it out;
3) if that doesn’t work, get the whole community involved;
4) and if even that doesn’t work, just don’t deal with each other anymore.” – presumably until you can get along again.
Today, as we heard the next section of Matthew, chapter 18, we can notice that some of disciples were still trying to figure out where the edges of love and compassion are. 18:21Then Peter came and said to Jesus, ‘Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?’
Peter thought he was being very generous by offering a seven-fold forgiveness. That’s his top end (as many as...). Jesus’ response was intended to blow that notion of generous forgiveness out of the water. “Seven? No, seventy-seven times” (some translations have this as seventy times seven – or 490 times).
If we worry too much about the number, we are no different that Peter. Jesus was not setting a limit at which the forgiveness requirement would run out, but was intending to pick such a high number that it could not be reached. If it helps, imagine Jesus saying, “Seven? No! 700 million ka-gillian times.”
To illustrate the point of how important the concept of forgiveness is to understanding the Kingdom of Heaven, Jesus told a story.
A servant owed a large sum of money (10,000 talents = 100 million denarii = ~275,000 years’ wages for a labourer). How this servant came to own this extraordinary amount is not known, but it was an impossible debt. The King decided to cut his losses and sell this man as a slave along with his whole family and all his worldly possessions. The man pleaded for his freedom – promising the impossible: that he would pay off the whole debt.
The king’s heart was filled with compassion and mercy and he forgave the impossible debt completely!
The king’s forgiving actions were not based on business or even a sense of justice or fairness (if we assume that the debt was legitimate). This was grace – forgiveness, where forgiveness was not warranted but was given anyway.
To contrast that act of pure grace, Jesus expands the story to say that the recipient of that grace was not so soft-hearted. The servant refused to offer any leniency to a fellow servant who owed him money (100 denarii = about three months wages or one-ten-thousandth of a percent of what he had owed the king).
When the king found out about this, he was enraged – he expected that grace would be contagious: that forgiveness would set the ground for deeper forgiveness.
The moral of the tale as Matthew tells it is: how can we expect to understand the grace of God, if we are unable to see glimpses of that kind of grace in our own lives?
//
When we have been ‘wronged’ in some way – hard emotions can surface in us: anger, disappointment, resentment, sadness. It is natural to want those who make us suffer to suffer themselves.
• Grace is an un-natural response.
• Forgiveness is hard because – we don’t want to act as if the wrong never happened.
• A seventy-times-seven kind of forgiveness does not take into account the nature of the wrong. And that doesn’t seem right or just.
• Shouldn’t forgiveness be earned?
//
Jesus says “no!”
//
It’s hard to live out this commandment to forgive, because forgiveness would be so much easier when I have healed from the pain caused to me, when the other person has repented and worked seriously at restitution and reconciliation.
//
Why does Jesus expect me to forgive – even if the other person is unchanged? Is that right?
Well, that’s the challenge of forgiveness.
//
In the end, in spite of my arrogance and any delusions I have about my ability to influence others, I only have control over one person in this universe – ME.
So, for forgiveness to have any value – it has to be about me. When I allow myself to have a grace-filled heart, the goal is to change me, not the person I am forgiving. If that happens, it is a bonus, but it is not a factor in my decision to forgive.
In fact, maybe the fact that my anger, my disappointment, my resentment, my sadness keeps the ‘sin’ alive is actually a stumbling block for any of those involved in moving forward.
//
//
Over the past ten years, I have had a recurring dream that I am on the roof of the South WTC Tower with my six year son on September 11th, 2001 as American Airlines flight 11 smashed into the north tower at 8:46am ET. I know that I have less that 15 minutes before United Airlines flight 175 hits my tower. I scramble to find the staircase that will lead us down. In my dream I wonder if we have enough time to get low enough in the building before 9:02 (if I can convince my son to move like his life depended on it) and if we are in the right staircase (furthest away from the crash), so that we won’t be bathed in burning jet fuel.
The dream never lasts long enough to find out if we get low enough before the crash or if we get out of the building and far enough away before the south tower collapses at 9:59am.
It feels so real and so personal.
When I awake, I feel helpless and scared and I am filled with a combination of anger and sadness when I think about those who executed this attack. How could they justify to themselves that this violence made sense?
Now, I am a politically minded person, with an open-mind as far as spirituality and religion goes. I seek to understand those people who think differently than me – especially to understand their hard reactions to my viewpoints. But I can’t see any lasting value in any act of violence – on a small or large scale.
And yet, I do find forgiveness very challenging!
//
In the last few months, I have tried a spiritual discipline to begin to address this challenge.
I have tried to imagine allowing all the hard emotions I am feeling getting caught up in the waters of the 9-11 memorial; the blocks to forgiveness are flowing down and out of sight.
Every once and a while as I work with this image in my mind, I am overcome with a sense of contentment and completeness: that I can only describe as the hands of God hugging my soul. In those instances, I think I am experiencing the grace that can change me when I am open to forgiveness.
//
Water is such a powerful image for me.
As we baptised this morning, we imagined the grace of God bathing these two young children as a few drops of water were splashed on their heads. We imagined the worry and struggle that accompanies a feeling of being alone...being washed away, because God-is-with-us. We imagined a spiritual thirst...finding relief.
We experienced Grace.
God’s compassion, not because we are perfect copies of Jesus Christ; not because we have earned anything by our thoughts or actions, but because God loves us not matter what.
//
My hope...is that grace and forgiveness are contagious. That we will be enlivened by God’s love for us that we want others to know what that can feel like on a human-to-human level. That there is a flow to this aspect of the Kingdom of Heaven; that once we are swept up in the current of the healing stream, we know it is a path we want to take.
I know it is a challenge to get close enough to that to feel the possibility and hope that forgiveness can bring.
I hope we are all up to the challenge.
Let us pray:
Holy, Gracious God;
Hold fast to us as we learn to forgive and become vessels of your grace. Amen.
#581VU “When We Are Living”
No comments:
Post a Comment